divsix.com

A story I liked to tell from my early days at OC org was how I overcame the physical universe to arrive at the Org that first few times. My car was a piece of junk. It was given to me by a friend. A 1970′s volvo that had no reverse gear, was badly painted and looked a little ragged. Ironically when you pulled it in the parking lot of the church it seemed to fit right in with the other cars that parishioners and staffers were driving then.

Anyhow on the drive up to the org from my apartment in Costa Mesa the fan belt broke. I pulled off the freeway and repaired it with pantyhose. This enabled me to actually arrive at the church. Given my state of mind in general at the time it was pretty OT to make it go right to arrive.

I was to start my first course in 1994 doing the Dianetics seminar. I was nervous but excited. As I was mostly working nights I did my course in the days. The course room was empty save the supervisor and a couple of students.

My first assignment was to read Dianetics. It was at this early stages I was to learn about my reactions to MU’s and study. It seems that when I get an MU my exhibited phenomena is to get upset and blow. Something that would cause me lots of trouble later on my progress up the bridge. I struggled through my chapters, complaining that I could do this by the pool and what was the reason for doing this in a course room. I bitched and complained a lot as it didn’t make sense to me. My basic course room supervisor was patient and got me done. I have to give it to her, she was dedicated and kind. Something that I know appreciate. After getting through the theory section of the book unscathed I was to start auditing. I arrived on a Saturday to get going.

My first sessions were amazing. Despite my Auditor… This is a testament to LRH and Dianetics, my untrained and rather angry auditor was taking me through my first engrams and at the same time nagging me for talking in too soft a tone. In spite of this I managed to clear my first real engram and felt amazing. I complained to the supervisor and was assigned another auditor. This went better. Within a few sessions I had gotten some major engrams off including birth. I was happier than I had been in forever and officially hooked. This was better than drinking or drugs. I had come out of the gutter.

Lets stray a little here and give you my impressions of the staff and the org. I was impressed that all the staff at the time were very happy, smiling dedicated, helpful and caring. I knew that they wanted you to win and it wasn’t about anything other than seeing your personal success. One of the supervisors had me write out what I wanted to get out of Scientology. I wrote a long list. When she read it to the other students I got that she was genuinely going to help me achieve those things. I was happy.

I completed my Dianetics seminar with a good note. I had cleaned up engrams, I felt euphoric and happy. I left the org without being signed up for my next course. But they did have my pager number.

My situation in life at the time was a little precarious. I was earning little money, I drank a LOT. I had been going through various accommodation problems and I was running out of time on my visa. However I managed to find a nice girlfriend and through her help I got a better job. I left working at the pub and went into phone dialing. It was better money and my life seemed to be improving.

In the absence of a cell phone the church would page me. A lot.

As I recall it I first heard about Dianetics when someone else mentioned it in a conversation. Later, while in Baltimore saw the book in a store at the mall. I had feeling that I knew something of the subject but wasn’t sure why.

I bought the book and started to read.

Dianetics isn’t an easy read. There are a lot of words that are specific to the works and it makes it difficult for most to get through the chapters. Sonething about the works made sense so I tried to get through. At the time I was staying with friends and my intention was to return to England, my homeland. I was part of a business start up in the USA and it had failed miserably. I had no money, no prospects, certainly no hope and above all I was at the lowest point in my life.I had been living in LA and had recently driven a car across country to Chicago. From that point I had gone to visit an old friend in Baltimore. While in LA I had made a couple of friends and one of them asked me if I wanted to come and stay with them. She told me that there was a place to live and a job I could take in a pub. I decided to go.

I had $250 left. Most of that was taken with my train fare. While making the cross country journey I read the book. I was intrigued. When I got to LA I spend the best part of 6 months working in a pub. I drank like a fish and in that time went through all sorts of hell.The details I’ll leave but suffice to say I was at the lowest part of my life.I was a drunk, miserable, lonely and close to the bottom.

At the time there was a TV ad running with the actress from little house on the prairie. I took this as a sign and in mid 1994 I called the Dianetics hotline. I asked where I could get someone to audit me. They directed me to Orange County Org.

Calling the org I set a time to go see them. Arriving at OC org a couple of evenings later i was greeted by a pretty girl and taken to an area where I was directed to fill out a personality test. I had arrived at 7 pm. It took me about an hour to do the test (its 200 questions) and once done I was told to wait. I was left alone for two hours. When the “evaluator” finally arrived I was given the results of my test. It seems that the only quality I had was that I moved when necessary to eat. I pretty much agreed. I was a mess. Not having any money on hand I was sold a handbook. They were $4 at the time. I decided to try to get $25 together to do the Dianetics course. That would take me a couple of weeks but I did manage to scrape the money together from my $7 an hour job.

That week I started Hubbard Dianetics Seminar.

Those words, in the book Dianetics, would change my life forever. Welcome to my journey. This is my account of a life and faith in Scientology. I hope you find it helpful and interesting. I write this mostly for myself, an account that once finished will give me perspective at a time when the Scientology religion is undergoing a variety of attacks from former members, staffers, press, politicos and at a time where many Scientologists are searching for answers as to where the religion will go next.

Please read this statement as a precursor to my blog. I am not an anti Scientologist, I am not writing this to attack LRH or his works. These notes are my feelings, observations, experiences and life as a Scientologist since 1995. I am not currently attending any church courses, doing auditing, nor am I declared as an SP. I am currently of good standing with the church.

That being said I am going to be frank, honest, open and direct with my writings. Something is afoot with my religion. Its time for me to speak and compare notes with others in my position. Treat this as a report of sorts.

BLOG RULES:

I will allow moderated comments. I won’t allow haters, critical remarks, outright attacks, generalizations, personal attacks on staff members or generally crappy remarks. Not in my nature. I am positive and happy. Lets keep the blog informative and enjoy the read.

DivSix